Not only because it's often more entertaining than their art (think Ashlee Simpson), but because it makes us feel better about ourselves. We can actually justify making lousy pay at boring jobs because, well, rich people are miserable.
At least that's what the rich people want us to think.
The past year has given us a flock of candidates for the Tribune's annual Turkey Awards, presented (figuratively speaking, anyway) to those celebs who've blown it big time over the past year.
What do we mean by blowing it big time? Lil' Kim getting thrown in the slammer. Mike Tyson getting clobbered by journeyman fighters. And 50 Cent acting like he can act.Now that's entertainment, folks.
After plowing through a year's worth of entertainment stories, we've picked our Top Turkeys. So grab some cranberry sauce, pile up some mashed potatoes and read along.
Remember when Tom Cruise was cool? He was the popular teen who danced in his Hanes in “Risky Business,” the stud pilot in “Top Gun” and the guy who stealthily dropped from the ceiling in “Mission: Impossible.” Now you expect to see him wearing tinfoil on his head. First, he hopped on Oprah's couch like a monkey, then he lambasted Brooke Shields for taking medication for post-partum depression. Now along with being a box-office heavyweight, he's also a self-proclaimed expert on psychiatry, who proselytizes for Scientology like Jimmy Swaggart off meds.
And then we hear fiancée Katie Holmes had a poster of Cruise when she was a little girl. Ick.
After pleading not guilty to child molestation charges during his arraignment, hundreds of fans outside the Santa Maria courthouse were invited to a party at his Neverland Ranch “in the spirit of love and togetherness.” But when the King of Odd was acquitted — and, thus, the PR campaign officially over — MJ snubbed his loyalists. Note to Michael: Sleep with a teddy bear next time.
“Chapelle's Show” was on a roll — critics loved it, DVD sales were sky high, and kids around the country were proclaiming, “I'm Rick James, bitch!” Knowing they had a hot property, Comedy Central signed Chapelle to a whopping $50 million deal. So how did the lanky comedian respond? Like any right-minded celeb: He went AWOL.
Without warning, Chapelle fled to South Africa to find “a quiet place,” according to Time. (Apparently, his farm in rural Ohio was just too raucous.) His departure fueled rumors of a mental breakdown, but Chapelle insisted he's sane.
If giving up $50 million to write jokes is sane, then I'm Rick James.
During the Pamela Anderson roast, Courtney was so sloppy drunk, she nearly knocked Anderson over. A few days after the show aired, we learned that she had violated her probation with continued drug use. Just as notorious for her relapses as she is for insulting crowds during gigs, Love was let off easy (again) and sent to rehab.
A truly entertaining reality show would have chronicled Martha's stay in prison (episode 1: How to decorate your cell with toilet paper). Instead, she was given her own “Apprentice.” Alas, she violated a key rule of reality TV: To be renewed, you must be a jerk. Or crazy — like that maniac on “Wife Swap.” By being extra nice to rejects (she wrote them letters and gently told them, “You just don't fit in.”) Martha created herself a bore of a TV show. That might work on daytime TV, but those of us who work expect to see someone who reminds us more of real bosses.
His ego's so big, it ought to be a float in today's Macy's parade. First, he gets kicked out of training camp for arguing with his coach, then he gets booted from the team for, among other things, complaining that the team lacked class by failing to honor his 100th career touchdown catch.
But, hey, he's a great player. Maybe he deserves a little respect.
Come to think of it, I had my 1,300th byline here this fall, and no one did a single thing to celebrate. How classless.
Let this be a lesson to all celebrity squeezes: Don't let your mate hire a good-looking nanny.
Law hired a nanny to watch his kids, but apparently decided he was the one who needed pampering. He and his fiancée, actress Sienna Miller, split, then later tried to get back together — until Miller started snogging the new James Bond.Now, the gossips tell us, they're back on.
Doesn't it seem like Hugh Grant will stumble into this picture somewhere?
If a buff, 30-something champion boxer goes up against a short, 59-year-old actor, who do you think loses?
In the upcoming sixth “Rocky” movie, simply titled “Rocky Balboa,” Rocky enters the ring one last time (supposedly), to face the reigning champ, played by real-life light heavyweight champ Antonio Tarver.
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